The Gospel According To Marc

Have you ever seen someone smoke crack? I have. When we arrived at Napoli Central station we had to swich to a local train (above ground subway) to get to our final destination of Sorrento. We hopped on the subway that looked like it was taken right out of the 80's classic film "The Warriors". This thing was spray painted from front to back. I have seen some pretty good graffiti in my day but this train looked like some painted it with their left hand. That is assuming they are a righty. Anyways, we sat at the back of a bus with two guys, both of whom looked like crack heads themselves. After a few stops, a guy who could barely stand decided to join us. He found himself a seat and decided to light up. Veronika and I looked at each other and didn't know what to do. So we took the approach that one might take if they fear a bee might sting them. Stay still and eventually they will go away. Although this crackhead was sitting right in front of us, he didn't even realize we were there. He fell over a few times, took a break to throw up at one of the stops and just as fast as he came into our lives he was gone.

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to Timmy. Budweiser is a delicious beer. Now for those of you pucking in your mouths, hear me out. Prague is the birthplace of the original Budweiser (Budvar). It is one of the finer beers I have had on my beer tasting tour.

After one dinner in Prague that consisted of a pork knee and many Budvars, Veronika and I decided to take a walk. On this walk we discussed many things but during one of our conversations we were interrupted. The interruption came in the form of a long, hanging fart. It was long lasting, which provided us the opportunity to take a look in the direction of the disturbance. We saw and old couple sitting on a bench. One of them was balancing on their right cheek to fart in the opposite direction of their partner. I guess that's why he married her. I know some might take the side of the old lady and say, "at least she leaned the other way" and I couldn't agree more. But there comes a point in a man's life where you have to decide if this is acceptable behaviour. I have come to terms that some women may pass gas. Some. Baking brownies in the privacy of your own home is one thing but shitting your pants on a bench in a busy square is another. Ladies listen up. If you are ever in this position blame your husband right away. Hopefully you can convince him that you are disgusted with his behavior and he will, as a reflex, apologize. If this doesn't work, you will at least remain married for the next 5-10 mins.